How conditional love disempowers and what you can do about it.

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Turning the “Wrong” to Empowered “Rights”

“You can’t take no for an answer.” This is courtesy of one of my bosses, who happened to be an emotionally abusive woman. She would just throw that in my face whenever I disagreed with her reasoning, which just did not make sense to me. She would say, “You just can’t take no for an answer. What’s wrong with you?”

I honestly didn’t think that that was something that was wrong with me, and eventually, I realized that I was at the core unemployable. Now I don’t take no for an answer in my business, and it’s working very, very well for me, which means I keep looking for creative solutions, moving like water. The water finds its way.

“You are obsessive.” Maybe not such a common one, but also from my former boss to me. This basically meant that I went deep into the projects to make sure that they are up to snuff and to the level of excellence that I wanted to deliver. Now that I do it in my business, oh my gosh, this is just so good and sweet. Power reclaimed.

“You’re not behaving like a girl.” Anybody else heard that growing up? “You’re not acting like a girl. What are you wearing? Girls don’t wear that,” or, “Girls don’t say that,” or, “Girls don’t use that language,” or, “Girls don’t laugh so loud.” I heard that a lot growing up. “Don’t laugh so loud. Boys won’t like you and they won’t want to marry you.”

“You’re so disrespectful.” This is your super power of questioning authority. Because sometimes authority really doesn’t make sense. Using your own mind. Not being compliant. Little girl who’s so easy to manipulate. That doesn’t work so well for society, but it actually — guess what? — works very well for you.

So how about reclaiming that power? Just along with the super powers of dressing the way you want, talking the way you like, laughing the way you love.

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