Helen Chadd, MFT is an ITP at Sofia U alumna from our Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology program. She is currently a Marriage and Family Therapist who provides psychotherapy for marriage issues, relationship stress, work or college stress, unresolved trauma and grief and loss for couples, adults and teens in San Luis Obispo, Pismo Beach, Arroyo Grande and surrounding areas.
You can read more of Helen’s blogs or schedule an appointment with her at http://www.helenchadd.com/
As always C.S. Lewis gives us in a simple phrase, a profound statement offering much insight.
How many times do you find yourself disagreeing with your partner because you don’t see eye to eye – he says X and you say Y and neither of you can agree because you are convinced you are right but can’t convince your partner that they are wrong?
Have you thought that maybe you are both right? Because it depends upon your viewpoint, location, experiences and beliefs. Are you, like most couples surprised to hear this? Here is a fun example shown during a representation by couples therapist Ellyn Bader a number of years ago: Look up to the ceiling and trace a circle above your head with your forefinger in a clockwise direction, now slowly bring your hand down to level with your chest while continuing to trace your circle in the same direction, which way is your finger moving? Yes, the opposite direction! But nothing changed just your view point.
When you are able to listen to each other’s point of view, you come to a place of understanding and validation of what you are both thinking and feeling. Individuals soften as they experience their partner taking the time to listen with acceptance and understanding.
Even though there is no requirement to agree with everything your partner is saying, just by being able to “stand where they are standing and see their point of view” healing can happen.
About the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology
Since 1975, the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology at Sofia University has continued to be an international leader and pioneer, moving humanity forward in the areas of transpersonal research and transpersonal education. training clinicians, spiritual guides, wellness caregivers, and consultants who apply transpersonal principles and values in a variety of settings. The Sofia educational model offers students not only a solid intellectual foundation, but an extraordinary opportunity for deep transformational growth and personal experience of the subject matter. How does Sofia University accomplish this? The university builds upon its strong, whole-person psychological foundation to give students a greater understanding of the human condition.